Different Stars
by Rachael Greene
Summary: After 10 years, Ryan and Marissa see each other again. Each are on different paths in their life, but are finally able to get past the hurdles in their life: Johnny Harper and Trey Atwood. CHAPTER 8 IS UP!
1. Prologue

It had been ten years since they had laid eyes on each other. After graduating from high school, Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper had not seen each other since. It was not because they had become the worst of enemies, or had simply lost touch. It was because after everything they had been through together, there was nothing more to be said.

Ryan had stayed in California after graduation, attending the University of California at Berkeley. He became an architect, and worked for a local company. Ryan continued to stay close to Sandy and Kirsten. Over time, he began to view them more and more as being his parents. After seeing his mother when he got out of high school, Ryan realized that Sandy and Kirsten were the people who took care of him and loved him. That is what parents do. That is what made them parents. He was also quite close to Seth, who after taking a year off to sail to Tahiti went to Brown, a year behind Summer Roberts, his high school sweetheart.

Recently, though, Ryan had developed a consuming devotion to something besides his work -a woman. For the past year, Ryan had been dating a woman named Alison Hamilton. She was a physics teacher at a local area high school. In fact, the couple met when they were in college, but were merely acquaintances at that point in their lives. Ryan and Alison met again after college in the local supermarket, where they exchanged numbers, and began to date.

Marissa Cooper, on the other hand, had not been so lucky with her life. After Ryan and Marissa's relationship ended in their senior year, she began to see someone else - Volchok. After her friend, Johnny Harper's death, she felt a sense of comfort in him that she did not feel in the later days of her relationship with Ryan. Either that, or it was the alcohol. Although Marissa had stopped drinking when she was with Ryan, she resumed her ways soon after she began to date Volchok.

Things started off well enough. They would hook up for sex, and to party a little, but soon things took a turn. Marissa became pregnant in the last month of her senior year. Since it was so late in the year, she would never show while she was at school, but it caused her to move out of her house, and back into the numbered streets with Volchok. By the time the baby had come, Volchok had disappeared, not to be seen by Marissa for some time. Although she could not afford it, she continued to live in the numbered streets out of pride. She did not want to have to move back home. She would have felt ashamed.

And now, ten years later, the Harbor School reunion for the Class of 2006 was coming up.

* * *

_Authors Note: I know this is not what most people would like to see happen to some of our favorite characters, but I just thought that this might be neat spin to put on things._


	2. Marissa

"Emma, let's go! C'mon, Grandma was expecting us an hour ago!" Marissa Cooper yelled at her nearly ten-year-old daughter.

"Fine, I'm coming!" Emma Cooper hollered back. The girl ran out the front door of the apartment she shared with her mother, and into the car. Emma was small for her age, but always had an opinion, like her mother. She was rebellious in her own way, even at her young age. Her eyes were as blue as saphires, and her hair was as blonde, like the sand. She was a beautiful girl. Emma was completely innocent to everything that happened prior to her birth. She did not know who her father was, or any real comprehension of what had happened previously that fateful year.

Marissa closed her door, and got into the front seat of the car. It was not a nice car. Nothing like she had when she was young. In fact, her car was an old Toyota Corolla. She sighed before turning the car on, for she knew she was about to open a window to the past. Marissa backed out of her driveway, and began to head to her mother's home in a wealthier part of Newport.

After what happened with Caleb's death, and Jimmy leaving again, the Cooper family was never able to entirely recover financially, even after Marissa's mother remarried again to a fairly affluent doctor. Julie lived in a well-to-do area of town with her husband. Kaitlin had graduated from college three years ago, and was living in the town of Laguna Beach with her husband. She did not work, and did not care to. Her husband was a wealthy lawyer. The couple did not have any children yet.

Meanwhile, Marissa's daughter looked at her and said, "Mom, what are you doing today?"

"I'm going to my class reunion," Marissa explained.

"Class reunion?" Emma looked confused.

Yeah. You know how you're in elementary school now, and in a couple of years you'll go to middle school, and then to high school, at Newport Union?" Marissa began.

"Uh-huh," Emma replied.

"Well, when you graduate from high school, you graduate with your class. That means that everyone in your grade is in your class, and every ten years, after you graduate from high school, you have a reunion with those people," Marissa explained.

"How come?" Emma wondered.

Marissa shrugged, "So you can see how everyone is, I guess..."

"Where did you graduate from high school, Mommy?" Emma asked.

"The Harbor School. It's a private school. Grandma paid for me to go there," Marissa replied.

"Oh," Emma replied. The two remained silent for the remainder of the drive after that.

When Marissa got to her mother's house, she turned off the car, turned around to her daughter, and reminded her to be on her best behavior because no one liked rude children - especially Julie Cooper, although Marissa had not always been good about teaching her daughter good manners. Once she had done that, the two girls got out of the car, and began to approach the front of the Newport Beach home. Marissa thought it to be ironic that ten or eleven years ago, she would not have found it odd to walk up to someone's mansion that she knew. Now she felt odd about it.

Since her senior year in high school, she began to feel less comfortable around the Newport elite, which her mother and sister were apart of. Everyone looked at her as if she were a criminal. After the shooting of Trey Atwood, the accidental death of Johnny Harper, and the birth of her daughter, people looked down on Marissa Cooper. Her relationship with her childhood best friend, Summer Roberts, had become rather strained. Most of the time, they talked through Christmas cards. The same happened with her mother and sister. Although things had been going well for quite awhile, once Marissa became pregnant, things changed. Julie began to look down on her because of her "mistake".

Marissa knocked on her mother's door. Emma and Marissa waited hesitantly. Emma liked her grandmother. She found her fun to be around, but Emma always became tense when her mother was there. Although she did not know why, she knew that Marissa's relationship was strained with her Julie.

Julie answered and said, "Hi, Honey! Hi, Emma!"

"Hey, Mom, listen I'm sorry to do this, but I just thought it might be nice to go," Marissa said.

"It's okay. Just give me some more notice next time, okay, Sweetie? I had to cancel a cardiobar class," Julie replied.

Marissa rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Grandma, did you ever go to your high school class reunions?" Emma asked.

"No, Honey, I didn't," Julie replied. Marissa and Julie both knew it was because she had dropped out of high school, for she had Marissa when she was only eighteen; however, Emma did not know that. "Although, I talked to Kirsten Cohen the other day, and she said that Ryan and Seth planned to go."

"Who are they?" Emma wondered.

"Oh, just people I went to high school with," Marissa said. Julie looked at her. She knew Ryan and Seth were more than that. "Anyway, I should get going. I don't want to be late."

Julie and Emma waved goodbye from inside the house, as Marissa drove off, about to drive into the past.


	3. Ryan

Ryan stood in his bathroom staring at the mirror. He was not sure he could do this. Most people would not be too concerned about their class reunion, except for Ryan Atwood. When he graduated from Harbor, he thought he had left a world of hurt, pain, suffering, and sadness in the past, until now, when his girlfriend, Alison Hamilton, convinced him that it might be nice to go to his class reunion. She told Ryan that it might be nice to see some old friends from high school, to show the world what he had been able to accomplish - the kid from Chino, and finally to show himself that he was not afraid to confront his past.

"Ryan, are you all right?" Alison wondered. She poked her head around the bathroom door to find Ryan staring at the mirror.

"No, I'm fine, I'll be right down," Ryan replied.

"Are you sure? Because it looks more like you're brooding, to me," Alison said.

Ryan smiled, "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah, it is," Alison replied. "Are you nervous about seeing everyone because I know I wouldn't call you the most extraverted person around?"

"No, it's not the people, per se," Ryan answered.

"Then what is it?" Alison pressed. She folded her arms across her chest. She looked ready to sit down and listen to him. She was a pretty girl. A small girl in fact, with a height of only about five foot three. Ryan liked to make fun of this sometimes, stating how much taller he was than she. Alison was a beautiful blonde though, with nice sky blue eyes that made a person want to seize the day.

"I think this will bring back a lot of memories. Some good, and a lot of them bad," Ryan stated.

"Is that why you don't talk about your past much? I mean, we've been together for a year, and you hardly say anything about it. I know you have guardians, and a pseudo-brother, Seth Cohen, but other than that, I know nothing," she said.

"In a word, yes. That's why. It's just complicated," Ryan replied. Alison looked at him strangely. "It's nothing for you to be worried about, though. It's not like I was drug dealer or something."

Suddenly, Ryan's cell phone started to ring. He motioned to Alison to hold her thought, as she was about to speak. He took it out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hello?" Ryan asked.

"Hey, Buddy, it's me, Seth?" Seth said.

"Hey, Man, what's up? You goin' today?" Ryan wondered.

"Yeah, I am, but, Dude, I just wanted to give you the heads up about something," Seth began.

"Yeah, what is it?" Ryan asked.

"I talked to my mom today, and Marissa's going. I mean, I know everything that happened was a long time ago, but I just thought you would still like to know, Man," Seth said.

Ryan paused for a moment to take in the information. He would see Marissa Cooper for the first time in ten years. He began to wonder what might happen.

"Dude? You still there?" Seth asked.

Ryan snapped back into things and said, "Uh, yeah, I'm here. Thanks for letting me know, Man. I'll see you there." He hung up his phone and put it in his pocket. He looked at Alison.

"Who was that?" she wondered.

"Oh, it was just Seth," Ryan told her.

"Anything important?" she asked.

"Uh, no. He just wanted to say that he might be a little late because of traffic, so we should probably get going too," Ryan smiled. Alison turned around and walked out of the bathroom. Ryan followed.


	4. First Sight

The reunion was to be held at the Newport Bay Yacht Club, a nice, upscale restaurant, where people could mix and mingle as well. Over the years, this place had been host to several of Newport's more distinguished events, such as Cotillion, weddings, "Man Of The Year" parties, and much more. This is where the Class of 2006 thought it might be nice to have their first class reunion.

Ryan and Alison pulled up in his Range Rover SUV. Since he was an architect, he could afford cars like this. Before getting out of the car to give the keys to the guy who would park it, he stopped to stare at the building, remembering the countless times he had been there before.

"Ryan, Honey, what are you staring at?" Alison asked.

Ryan turned, looked at her, and said, "What?"

"You're just staring into the oblivion, again. Are you okay?" she wondered.

"Yeah, I'm fine, come on," Ryan said. He got out of the car, and Alison followed. Ryan tossed the keys to the guy who parked to cars, and went inside the building. When the couple got into the building they both stood there at the doorway taking in the place. Alison was taken back by it's beauty, and how she could not possibly believe that her Ryan was always going to places like this, for even just going to lunch. Ryan, on the other hand was remembering. Every memory he had of this place. The first party he went to in Newport was held there, Julie Cooper's "almost" wedding was held there, and many more events.

While they were looking around, one of the organizers of the event came up to Ryan and asked, "Excuse me, but are you Ryan Atwood? The one who dated the infamous Marissa Cooper?"

Ryan blushed and replied, "Yeah, that's me."

"Wow. I can't believe you guys aren't together now. I guess I just would have pictured it, although, I can understand why things worked out the way they did. I mean, she did shoot your brother," the woman blabbered.

Ryan forced a smile. He knew that Newpsies could divulge the most personal information at the most inappropriate times. Alison turned her head to him in shocked amazement.

"Who is that girl, and what did she do?" Alison wondered.

Ryan tried to keep a friendly face, and replied, "Can I tell you later?"

Alison forced a smile and said, "Fine, but tell me everything."

"Will do," Ryan replied. The couple walked further into the building where waiters were holding platters of appetizers, just waiting to be eaten. There Ryan found Seth, who was sitting at the table with his former sweetheart, Summer Roberts. They still looked the same as they did ten years ago. Seth was still as lanky as he was then, and Summer was just as gorgeous. Although he and Summer were not together anymore, they still maintained a strong friendship.

When Summer left for college a year ahead of Seth, things became quite strained. When she came home on Christmas break, she decided it was time to break it off with him because the distance was too much. Once Seth came to Brown University the next year, he was determined to get her back, for awhile. Eventually, after Summer kept refusing to date him again, they slowly became friends, which was something they had never truly achieved before. They had been just friends for eight years by the time the class reunion came around.

"Hey, guys," Ryan said. He motioned towards Summer. "Long time no see."

"Right back at you, Atwood. So who is the lady you brought tonight?" Summer asked.

"Uh this," Ryan said, pointing to Alison, "Is Alison Hamilton. We've been together for about a year now. Alison, this is Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts. You know about me and the Cohen family?"

Alison nodded.

Summer and Seth nodded at Alison in approval.

Seth said, "Wow, Man, I think that's the longest you've consistently had a girlfriend for. So on another topic, have you seen Marissa yet?"

"No, is she here already?" Ryan asked.

"No, I was just wondering if you'd seen her," Seth said.

Ryan looked at Seth perplexed. He often wondered why he said the stupid comments that he did. Of course, then again, Seth had admitted in the past to talking just to hear his own voice.

"So you and this Marissa girl have quite the history, huh?" Alison stated.

Just as Ryan was about to answer, Seth jumped in and said, "You could say the were a couple, even when they weren't being a couple, and sure they had their share of shaky times: Trey, and the death of dear ol' Johnny Harper. But for some reason people still seem to view them as being together, even though they haven't been for ten years."

Ryan glared at him and said, "Seth, shut up."

Ryan looked back over to the entrance of the Yacht Club. He saw more fellow alumni entering. Many of them he did not recognize, while many others he did. Then he saw Marissa. She looked as if she had aged a little in the past ten years - it looked as if she had grown up.


	5. Exposed

Alison looked at Ryan as he walked over to this beautiful, tall woman. She began to see what everyone was talking about - they had a history, and not just one of those "well they went out for years" histories, but one where things happened - where important events took place. Alison saw that Ryan and Marissa a connection that was quite deep, even though they had not seen each other for years. She could also see how Ryan could have been attracted to her ten years ago. Marissa was beautiful - tall, slender, nice eyes, nice hair. Although she tried not to show it, the appearance of Marissa began to make her a little jealous. She watched Ryan go up to Marissa and talk to her.

"Hey, Marissa," Ryan said. He was absolutely in awe of seeing her. It had been ten years since they had seen each other.

"Hi, Ryan," Marissa replied. They stood there for a moment, neither of them saying anything. "It's nice to see you again."

"Yeah, you too," Ryan answered. Marissa walked away from him and over to Seth and Summer, where she greeted both of them warmly. Alison watched the whole time. Ryan walked over to Alison and stood next to her.

Marissa turned to Alison and asked, "Who are you?"

Alison looked at Ryan. He answered, "Marissa Cooper, this is Alison Hamilton. Alison, this is Marissa."

"Oh! So she's your girlfriend? Wow, that's great, Ryan!" Marissa exclaimed. She smiled at them. "How did you two meet?"

"We met in college, actually," Ryan told Marissa. "But we didn't start dating then. Last year we saw each other again... and things just starting happening."

"That's really great," Marissa told him. She smiled at the couple.

"So Marissa, how are things for you?" Seth asked. "Anything new recently?"

She shrugged. Nothing really happened in her life - ever. Sure, maybe she went to her daughter's brownie troop meeting last Monday, but that was it. Marissa responded, "Uh, no... not much is happening with me. Work's good. Home's good."

Ryan put his arm around Alison, turned to Marissa and asked, "So where do you work now?"

Marissa was a little embarrassed by the question. After finding out about the pregnancy, she ditched any efforts that she had put into college. Finally she replied, "I work as a waitress, actually."

Ryan was stunned by her statement. How could the girl that had everything growing up want this now? He decided to delve deeper, and asked, "Do you live nearby?"

"Actually, yeah. I live in the numbered streets with - " Marissa paused.

"With who?" Ryan wondered.

"... with my daughter," Marissa admitted.

"You have a daughter? Wow, that's really great," Ryan smiled. Alison glanced at his face.

"Yup, I do. Her name's Emma, and she's almost ten," Marissa said. She began to see Ryan's face fall. She could see him doing the math in his head, and his girlfriend's face turn a light shade of green.

She could see the expression on his face change. He said, "Oh."

Tears came to Marissa's eyes. This was what she did not want to happen. "I have to go," she said. Marissa waved goodbye, and ran out. When she got inside her car, she sat there and sobbed for a moment. Marissa felt as if everyone around her thought she was failure.


	6. Who's That Girl?

The reunion ended some hours later, so Ryan and Alison decided to make the trek back to their home Things got pretty quiet once Marissa left. Suddenly, there was nothing new to discuss. The girl who was the life of the party ten years ago, was still that today.The couplewere silent for most of the car ride. Neither one of them could believe what they had heard at the reunion. Ryan did not know what to think. Who was this mysterious child, and what transformed Marissa after they finished dating? It was obvious to Alison, who was sitting right next to him that he was thinking about this long lost girlfriend, whom he had just seen.

"So are you just going to stay silent, or do you want to tell me about this history you have with that girl at your reunion? That Marissa Cooper," Alison wondered. She looked over at him, hoping to illicit a response, other than a shrug.

"It's complicated," Ryan said. He had spend some many years trying to put his past behind him, the last thing he wanted to do was bring it back. "You probably wouldn't understand."

Alison took some slight offense to that statement and replied, "What wouldn't I understand?"

Ryan glanced at her and sighed. Clearly, there was no way to keep her from wanting to know. "When was fifteen, my brother, Trey, stole a car. He smashed the window in, got in, and wanted to take off. I was there. I wasn't sure what to do, but I got in anyway."

"You stole a car?" Alison asked shocked. Her eyes were huge with amazement.

Ryan nodded slowly and continued, "They put me in Juvie, and they put Trey in prison, since he was nineteen. When I was released, my mom told me she was kicking me out of the house. I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I had to get out because her boyfriend-of-the-moment could kick my ass. I tried calling people to see if I could crash with them, but they either weren't home, or didn't want me to. Finally, I gave in and called Sandy Cohen, who was my court appointed lawyer then. When I was released from Juvie, he said I could call anytime, and gave me his number. Once I ran out of people to call... I called him. I lived with him, Kirsten, and their son, Seth for the rest of my teenage years. They became my legal guardians, and paid for private school, and my college education."

"So how did you meet Marissa?" Alison asked again.

"That first night that Sandy and Kirsten took me in, I went down to the end of the driveway to have a cigarette - " Ryan began.

"You smoked!" Alison interjected.

Ryan smiled, slightly embarrassed, and replied, "Yeah, I did, and when I went down there to have the cigarette, there she was. I had never seen anyone quite like her before. There was something... something alluring about her, which I had never seen in anyone before. There was more to her than what met the eye."

"Did you guys start dating then?" Alison asked.

"No. She had a boyfriend, Luke, who wanted to kick my ass every chance he got. But she and Luke eventually broke up - Marissa caught him cheating with one of her friends when we all took a trip down to Tijuana, and that was the end of their relationship. When we were down there, she overdosed on pain killers because she was so depressed. She caught Luke cheating on her, and the day before, her dad called her to tell her that her parents were getting divorced."

"Oh, God..." Alison said. "She sounds messed up."

Ryan nodded, "I know. We started dating fairly soon after that, but things were never good with us. Within the first three months of us dating, Marissa was caught shoplifting, drunk, and had a gun held to her head. After that, we broke up for awhile. Things were weird, for many reasons, for about another year."

"What reasons? This will probably be the only chance to hear this story, knowing you. I don't want you skimping on the details," Alison pressed.

Ryan sighed again. He really did not want to go into his whole history with Theresa or Lindsay, and said, "When Marissa and I broke up the first time, I dated a girl from Chino whom I had known and dated before I came to Newport. Her name was Theresa. She isn't part of this story, though. She has a whole separate one devoted to her."

"Oh, I see," Alison smiled. "So what happened the next year?"

"Marissa and I tried to at least maintain being friends that year, but it was hard. She kinda rebelled against everything, and I was trying not to get dragged into that, but we started dating again at the end of my junior year in high school. Things started out good. Great, in fact, until my brother, Trey, came along. He was released from prison that year."

"How come you two are so different?" Alison wondered. "Sounds like he's a totally different person.

"He is. When he first got there, things were okay, but Trey equals trouble, and he found some. I had to go to Miami that year with Sandy and Seth, and when I did... Trey attacked Marissa. He tried to rape her," Ryan said. He looked at Alison again, and then back toward the road. It was really the only way he could tell it. "When I found out, I freaked, and went over to Trey's apartment, just wanting him to feel the same pain she felt."

"You were going to kill him, weren't you?" Alison wondered.

Ryan nodded, "But people intervened. Trey had my head to the carpet, and was about to bash it in with a telephone, when Marissa shot him - with a gun that Trey had in the apartment. It had actually been used at a shooting the night before."

"Oh wow..." Alison said, really beginning to understand everything. "So did you stay together through it?"

"Yeah, we did. Harbor even kicked her out, and she had to attend Newport Union for awhile, but she was able to come back for graduation .In fact, Newport Union is where she met Johnny Harper, a mutual friend who died. Marissa, Kaitlin - her sister, and I were all there that night. He fell off a cliff - drunk. After that, we really drifted apart, and called it quits soon after. She dated this jerk, Kevin Volchok, for awhile, but I'm not sure what happened after they broke up. All I know is that she is a waitress, and has a ten-year-old daughter," Ryan sighed.

Alison looked at him. She felt sympathetic towards Ryan's situation, but at the same time, she did not know how to console him, because she had never gone through anything like that. Ryan looked back at her, and smiled, "But all that's behind me now. You must think that's pretty unbelievable, huh?"

"It's a little out there," Alison admitted.


	7. Surprise Visit

Emma sat on the floor in her living room, in the apartment that she and her mother shared. She was playing with some legos by herself, while her mother, Marissa, was in the kitchen making lunch. This was how things usually were on the weekends, since Emma had no siblings and Marissa usually did not have company, unless her mother stopped by to tell her daughter how to run her life. While playing, Emma heard a knocking on the door.

Emma ran into the other room, and told her mother, "Mom, someone's at the door."

"Can you get it? My hands are kinda full," Marissa told her.

"Fine," Emma replied. She marched back into the living room, and went to open the door. When she did, she found a man standing there. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. Emma just stared at him.

"Who are you?" Emma asked pointedly.

"I'm Ryan, Ryan Atwood. Is your mother Marissa Cooper?" Ryan wondered.

"Yes, but my mom doesn't want to buy anything - she hates people who sell stuff," Emma said.

"Oh, well, actually, I'm an old friend of your mom's. We went to high school together, and I was just wondering if I could talk to her for a moment," Ryan said.

Emma stared at him for a moment, then turned her head towards the kitchen, where her mother was and yelled, "Mom! Someone's here to see you!"

Marissa came out of the kitchen, with a dish towel in her hands, drying them off. To her surprise, she found Ryan standing at the door. She stopped in her tracks when she saw him. Marissa was very taken aback when she saw him.

"Mom?" Emma asked as she walked back over to her legos. "Are you okay?"

Marissa looked at her daughter and replied, "Yeah, Sweety, I'm fine." She turned and looked at Ryan again.

Ryan smiled, "Sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you."

"No, it's all right, really... Do you want to come in? We were just about to have lunch. Turkey sandwiches, if you want one," Marissa offered.

"Uh, sure. That'd be great," Ryan said, stepping into the apartment. He followed Marissa into the kitchen, where she was making the sandwiches. Marissa walked over to the refrigerator to grab the turkey for the sandwiches.

"So how did you know where I lived?" Marissa wondered, turning around to face Ryan.

"Seth told me," Ryan admitted. He leaned against one of the walls of the kitchen.

"Oh, really? So why did you stop by? Does Alison know you're here?" Marissa asked. She walked back over to the counter with her turkey.

"I don't know, I guess. I feel bad about how things went at the reunion... and no, she doesn't know I'm here," Ryan said.

"Don't be. The truth was bound to come out at some time," Marissa said. She put the mayo on Ryan's bread.

"Listen, I don't mean to pry, but why do you try and keep her a secret, like she's some horrible thing?" Ryan asked.

Marissa sighed and brought the sandwiches over to the kitchen table. He did not understand. No one did. She replied, "I don't want to keep her a secret. I'm not ashamed of my daughter... I just don't want her to know about everything that happened those couple of years before she was born. Fires, fights, drinking, cocaine, parties, divorces, OD's, deaths, shootings, attacks... it's not something she needs to worry about, or know about. I mean, those aren't exactly my proudest moments, and if everyone knows, then she'll find out. Find out everything, which is something I don't want... Ryan can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he replied.

"What happened?" Marissa asked.

"What do you mean?" Ryan wondered.

"I mean, like, what caused us to break up, and what happened after. Things were just so wild... I guess I never caught up with myself," Marissa admitted. She glanced over at her daughter in the other room. "All I knew is that one day, I was pregnant..."

Ryan sat down at the table and said, "I think we just grew apart. I mean, even from the beginning, back when you were with Luke, and I had just come to Newport, I don't think we had a lot in common. I think we were attracted to each other physically more than anything else. Things were always so complicated for us too. Your mom always hated me. There was Oliver Trask, Theresa, Lindsay, Trey, Johnny Harper, and Volchok. And looking back on it now, I don't think we ever really meshed that well, anyway."

"Yeah, I suppose so," Marissa admitted.

"Can I ask you something?" Ryan wondered.

"Sure," Marissa offered.

"Does Volchok know about Emma?" Ryan asked, nodding towards her daughter. She was putting her legos away in the toy box.

"Yeah, we moved in here together before she was born. In fact, you're the reason he did. I remember one night, we were eating Chinese food, and he said that you had talked to him one day, and told him that I deserved someone to be good to me. Things didn't last long after that. Once he started dealing..." Marissa trailed off.

"Is she his?" Ryan asked.

"What are you kidding?" Marissa replied. "Of course, she is. Who else's could she be?"

Ryan looked at her funny.

"She isn't yours. We broke up months before then," Marissa assured him. She paused for a moment, to think about something. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure," Ryan said.

"Do you think we would have stayed together longer if Johnny hadn't died that night?" she asked.

"Honestly, yeah, but it's not like we'd still be together today," Ryan said. "Like I said earlier. I don't think we meshed that well, anyway."

"Yeah," Marissa sighed. "And I doubt that if the whole Trey thing hadn't happened, we'd still be together."

"He really was just another rock in the road for us, wasn't he?" Ryan smiled.

"Do you talk to him?" Marissa asked.

"Not really," Ryan answered. He took a bite out of his sandwich. "I've seen him a few times since then, but we don't really keep in touch... To be honest, I don't think I ever tried to process what happened because I know I couldn't handle it."

"At least you can finally admit that," Marissa said. "Half the problem with us was communication. I never knew what you were saying."

Ryan smiled, "Same here."

Marissa paused for a moment. This was the most intense conversation they had ever had, even when they were together, Ryan and Marissa did not talk about things like this. She asked, "Ryan, are you happy?"

"What do you mean?" Ryan wondered.

"I mean, are you happy with the way things turned out... life in general?" Marissa asked.

"Yeah, I suppose. This is far from what I pictured when I was a kid, believe me, but I like it, just the same," Ryan said. "I'd like to think it all happened for a reason."

Marissa smiled, "Same here."

Ryan looked at his watch, and said, "Oh, wow... I have to go. I have some stuff I've gotta do, but can we do this again maybe?"

"Uh, sure," Marissa said. "Here, I'll give you my number, and you can call me."

She walked over to the counter, got a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote her number down for Ryan.

"Great, thanks," he replied. Ryan got up from his chair, and walked to the front door. Marissa followed him, to let him out. She opened the door, and waved goodbye to him. Emma watched them.

"So that's your old friend?" Emma asked.

"Yep, he is," Marissa sighed.


	8. The Space Between

Alison opened the door to the house. She had a bag of groceries with her. She saw Ryan sitting inside on the couch, alone. It seemed like he was just pondering his thoughts.

"Hey, I missed you when I came home for lunch today," Alison said to Ryan.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Ryan smiled.

"Where were you?" Alison wondered.

"I was visiting an old friend… Marissa," Ryan admitted.

"Oh," Alison said. She looked hurt.

Ryan saw the look on her face and replied, "It's not like that. I just wanted to catch up. I mean, I hardly got to talk to her at the reunion, and I just felt like there was more to be said."

"And?" Alison wondered.

"And what? I had turkey sandwiches with Marissa, and her daughter, Emma. I just wanted to know what she had been up to all these years," Ryan shrugged.

"How is she?" Alison asked.

"She's good. She doesn't have the life she started with, but she seems to like it," Ryan said.

Alison looked at him oddly.

"She used to be quite wealthy, when we were teenagers," Ryan informed her.

"Oh." Alison paused. She did not know what to say. "Do you still care about her?"

Ryan took a deep breath. He was not sure how to answer this. Marissa would always be a huge part of his past, but he knew she had no place in his future - at least romantically. Finally he said, "I'll always care about Marissa. I mean, you don't go through that much with one person, and not care about them at all. Marissa and I will never date again, obviously. It never worked before, and it there is no way it would work now, but I'll always care about her. She was a huge part of my life for years."

"Do you still love her?" Alison asked.

Ryan paused. How could he answer this so she would understand? He looked at Alison and replied, "Not in the way I love you. I'll always love Marissa, just like I love Seth, but not the way I love you."

Alison remained silent. She wanted to believe Ryan, but something told her that they would always have a connection – one far stronger than she and Ryan could ever have.

Ryan looked at her. He could tell by the way she was acting that she felt this was practically like cheating. "Alison, you have nothing to worry about. Marissa and I never worked, anyway. We always fought, and believe me – that would still be true ten years later," Ryan assured her.

"I know," Alison replied. "I guess it's just that everyone else seems to imagine that you and Marissa are meant to be, and I can't help but wonder that as well sometimes."

"I know," Ryan said, "but you're just gonna have to trust me on this one. It's like Seth and Summer – the other girl you met at the reunion. Everyone thought they were meant to be, and now, they are just good friends – that's all."


End file.
